Sunday, August 2, 2015

Do we really need the microwaveable bacon tray in New York?

Why Bless your heart.
Say someone goes from a 2200 square foot house that some D.I.N.K.s (Double income no kids) filled that sucker with 2 Christmas trees, the infamous "I know I only go fishing one time a year but I need all this fishing gear" and one or both has the beginning signs of Hoarding. (Yes I know that I am bad about run on sentences, print this out, take a red pen to it and send it to me.) Then that couple gets pissed they spent 5K on some exterior wood repair, sell said house to some friends and move into a 1300 square foot condo in the core. Now life was good for 18 months till momma gets a job as an Uber driver in NYC so they decide to move to the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
They acquire an apartment but will pay double the price for a studio apartment that is only 535 square feet. Let me type that again for those who are rubbing their eyes thinking that CBT is still on the sauce this morning. A 535 square foot studio that is double the cost of their 1300 square foot condo in Memphis!
What do you do?  How do you pack for that? How are we going to sell our Jeep and BMW? What goes, what stays? What do you mean there is only one shitter in this apartment? Welcome to our current situation as we are T minus 24 hours before we depart. We decided about 6 weeks ago to sell all of our furniture and downsize again. Currently packed in boxes are; clothes, artwork, 2 blow up beds (more on that later) and some folding stadium chairs that for the grace of God we still keep up with. As we started the "housing cleanse" we decided to have two piles; going to NYC & going to the estate sale. So far it has been an easy process as one really doesn't need 4 French whisks, borrowed rocks glasses from the local drinking establishments or 3 different Cubs Jerseys with players names who are long gone from that or organization.
This does raise the question that we will soon find out on Wednesday between noon and 1:30 as that is our move in slot on Wednesday, will all this shit fit in our new joint? Now if does, will there be enough room to move around but more importantly, where is the second bathroom?

We shall see.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Memphis > New York City

Well bless your heart, it is so nice to see you again. Much like running into an old friend on the Main Street Trolley...oh wait scratch that, Main Street Green Bus we can pick up where we left off.  This time we uproot and move 987 miles to the city that never sleeps and from what I understand, now has a decent picante sauce now. Follow along, or don't, with us as we try to make sense of crosstown buses, ordering a pimento cheese sandwich in the deli and forever in search of that perfect glass of Sweet Tea.
New York is about to get funky!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Bar 595 > Bar _95

So a lot has happened since our last post. No we didn't move to Mexico and start swimming with the Whale Sharks, we sold our $hit and moved back to the core. You recall that Post where we put an offer on that condo? Well, we sold Bar 595 to some fun loving people who promised to keep the bar intact and after an Estate Sale that pissed off some South Bluffs residents (matters - we moved, deal with it) and moved into the new joint. Yes RJ and Mallory are the new owners of Bar 595 and as long as we don't promise to tell them where we or Mallory's parents for that matter, did the 'brown chicken, brown cow' in the house we have an open invitation to any event at Bar 595.  After closing on the bar we had an estate sale and let me tell you, if you ever need a great company to conduct an estate sale I highly recommend Deb Wade as she was great and made us some good money for our Bea Arthur sex tapes in Beta max. Seriously she was great and made the whole "leaving our crap behind" a great experience.
Yes, the only thing that we moved from the old joint was the couch, the TV, the spare bedroom Queen Sized bed (that we promptly sold and got a new King sized bed), the Alice and Wonderland Chest of drawers, a bakers rack and the dogs. We kept our pots and pans but we left our everyday china and are happy to report that we are now enjoying our dinners on our Wedding china (after we had to take the stickers off of before eating our first meal) and way too much kitchen crap. After moving into the new joint we now realize that we still have way too many clothes but I can't part with my Slayer concert T-shirt or the pants that I wore when I was in the 8th grade (the length is fine, the waist needs help) but there is always Salvation Army.
The Monkey Heads are getting used to only peeing in 1200 square feet and Maddy seems to enjoy not having 14 stairs to climb to go to bed but still hasn't peed on the new Porch Potty. She has taken a new hatred for horse drawn carriages as I assume she believes they are just large dogs and not horses. Maya has taken to the new joint and even though she still hates people she loves walks and hiding under my legs when we see someone on the streets. I am also happy to report that Momma and I haven't killed each other and even though we are still using plastic bins as bedside tables we have taken to the joint. We have been enjoying riding the trolley down to the South Main haunts but we are still searching for our home bar/joint like we found at the Monkey. In the meantime, we are still searching for the perfect dining room table and are awaiting some built in shelves and paint. Then we can hang the art, the Belizean Masks and some trinkets from the old bar. We expect to be open for business in a month so go ahead and book your trolley/flight/car service to come see us.
Now onto the pictures;
The view once you open the door, we are thinking the right side wall will be a good canvas to put some Masks, Doty Art and Bar 595 memorabilia.

The previous owners left this Murphy bed and bookshelf so there will be no need for a blow up bed for our guests (hint, hint - Lentini, Maria, English Mike, TQ and Yoga Peach)

The Alice in Wonderland Chest that we moved

Sadly the guest room isn't a fully enclosed room as it is called a flex room so any guests of the new joint may need to bring some ear plugs. No not for that you dirty minded readers, it appears that the dogs snore pretty loud.
Here is where the action happens. To the left you notice the other side of the sliding doors that adjoins the Flex room. What you were expecting larger? We are 1 block from the Peabody Hotel and Talbot Heirs Guest House if that is a little too weird.
The Master Bath (and the only full bath in the joint)
Our New King Sized Bed and feel free to message me if you want to know where I got those killer Bed Side Tables that look like we are still in college.
The Second Bathroom which is a half so our guests (or me when the other bathroom is occupied) have a place to pee and not bother us at night.

The living room and the couch that we moved.

Here is where the Dining room table will be after we figure out where we can find it. Also notice the two plastic bins that contain the remaining bottles of booze from Bar 595.

The Kitchen and Office (pay attention to the fridge for the next picture)

Yep that is our killer laundry room next to the Kitchen
View from the Kitchen/Office into the Living room.

Ok, stop laughing but that is the dog's Porch Potty that we picked up on Amazon. Maya loves it and to date has not peed once on any of the city's streets, sidewalks or alleys. Maddy on the other hand, has whizzed all over main street!

The Backyard/Balcony area. We are still looking for some outdoor furniture but haven't found what we want so we are using the folding chairs. Thankfully since the balcony is recessed so much it doesn't get wet when it rains and isn't a windy as you would expect.
Did we mention that we live above a fully functioning Bar and restaurant? Yep all we have to do is take the elevator to the bar. Let that sink in, we take an elevator to the bar.
View north from the Balcony to our local market and where we buy beer when we don't want to get the car out.
Did we mention that we only have 2 drawers in the entire house? Yeah we didn't see that one when we did our tour. To commemorate half of the drawer space I made one a junk drawer.

 We do however have a killer pantry that we use for kitchen equipment storage, diet coke pantry and store some food. Once we get the built in's then we can make some room.
We will let you know when we are open for business but we are accepting reservations but bear in mind that Beale Street Music fest & BBQ Fest are blocked out for Maria and English Mike. TQ and Yoga Peach start looking at your calenders, same goes for the former CIL gials and the Dale Hollow Crew!


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Carbunkle Trumpet did a Bucket List Item and lived to tell about it!

Ok, I am going to just lay it out there on the line for all to read, I am a spoiled little shit when it comes to the ocean and seeing some of it's magnificent creatures under the surface. Yeah I went there, I admit it, I am not proud but at least I got that off my chest.  Thanks to my parents, my sister and I have been afforded the chance to see some unbelievable beaches and locations that many will never ever get a chance to see in their lifetime. I got the chance to see the pink sand beaches of Bermuda when I was ten years old, visited Belize more times than a lot of flight attendants do and still got to do and see some really cool shit in between. Down in Belize, where I got a lot of my underwater fish 101 knowledge, it wasn't uncommon for me to swim with nurse sharks, sting rays, many species of fish, and see some coral formations that you only see on the Travel Channel. When I was younger our old time fishing guide would sneak frozen peas and sardine guts into our swim suit pockets so when we would hit the water all kinds of fish would swarm us like flies on roadkill. It was this luxury that I was afforded that I became sort of disenfranchised with snorkeling. Now granted I would always play along when we would have friends who had never snorkeled in Belize as I didn't want to be "that guy". It is funny as when we visit Belize with people who have never done that they would come out the water in amazement that they just saw all those different species of fish yet in my mind I was thinking "Yeah I have done that and have way too many t-shirts in my closet too."   
Well all of that is about to come to a screeching halt as I can honestly say with no reservation that I just did the most unbelievable thing in the world and sadly I don't think that my words can express upon you how FREAKING cool it was! Last year at this same time I was over in Cozumel celebrating the destination wedding of some good friends of ours. A buddy of mine who I have mentioned before in this blog had just swum with the Whale Sharks of the coast of Isla Mujeres. I recall reading Scoop's post and thought to myself that here is a girl who lives in paradise and sees the same stuff I have and she is impressed? I may have to check this out one day. Now that I have done this and I re-read her post,  I now get it; I just swam with one of the largest species of fish in the ocean that dates back to 1828. I read where another friend of mine had also just recently swam with these magnificent bastards and in the back of my mind I am thinking "Why hasn't anyone else done this?" I have over a 1000 friends on Facebook and there are only a handful of them who have done this? Anyway I will get off my soap box now (and go to below normal height) but if you have the chance, BY ALL MEANS GO SWIM WITH THE WHALE SHARKS! It is a moment in your life where you realize that you are just a simple creature living in a vast world and I get it why this is on so many people's bucket lists.
According to Mr. Wikipedia the Whale shark is the largest non mammal vertebrate rivaling the dinosaurs in terms of sheer weight. They can live as long as 70 years and can get as long as 40 feet in length and weigh over 30 tons (that's 66,000 pounds) and yet they are vegetarians and only feed on plankton. *Yes I swam with a bunch of Vegetarians and if they knew my real feelings for them before we were introduced I may not be typing this and Mrs. Trumpet may be wearing a black dress today* The whale sharks migrate  to off the coast of Mexico from May to September each year and the peak time to see them is mid August. This particular day there were close to 100 Whale Sharks according to "Whale Shark Daddy" and thanks to the Mayan Gods we had beautiful weather on that particular Monday.
We had pre-arranged with Whale Shark Daddy for a tour on Monday and were picked up at our hotel at the bright early time of 7:45AM. After a brief breakfast we had our 'briefing' and were split up into groups of 10 and were directed to a boat. For those of you who are scuba divers, you can leave all that crap in the room as Whale Sharks are top water feeders and the majority of them will swim on the surface to feed so you only have to be a good swimmer. You can either elect to wear a life vest or rent a short suit wet suit which I did on Scoop's advice as you have more mobility in the water. One thing that I did like and have to give Whale Shark Daddy mad props to was that he only would let you go into the water wearing Bio-Degradable sunscreen. As he said in the 'briefing' (in broken English) there are over 600 swimmers seeing the whale sharks each day and 600 people wearing that film creating sunscreen will kill off the plankton and will eventually kill the Whale Sharks. Kuddos to him and to the other companies who make sure that Gringo's like us don't make this species extinct!
After a 45 minute boat ride you come up to an area in the deep blue waters where there are like 60 to 70 boats full of other gringos who also are going to see the whale sharks. Now in the back of my mind I am thinking that "oh yeah this is going to be fun" until I see one of these big bastards firsthand. Again, you are reading a blog from someone who has pulled up some pretty big fish in his day and it doesn't compare to these suckers. Everyone is paired into groups of two and you get to swim 3 sets with a guide and a photographer. As we are waiting for our turn we notice like 5 or 6 of these huge suckers swimming around the boat. It wasn't until one swam under the boat and I figured it was 40 feet long since I saw head and a lot of tail as he swam parallel to the 34 foot boat. I ask the Captain how big they get and he gave me the Kilos which meant nothing to an Merican as we weigh everything in pounds but it was pretty big. Anyway it was time for CBT and Mrs. CBT to get wet and off the boat we went.
For those of you who are kinda nervous swimming with school busses the guides do a great job holding your hand and positioning you right up next to a whale shark where you are only feet away from this huge fish. At first I was thinking that I could keep up with this sucker as he wasn't really putting a lot of turbulence out there with his tail but I was wrong. These suckers fly through the water as what I assume is the intake of the water and pushing out of the gills as the gills on these things are 5 feet long along the sides of them. After about 10 to 15 minutes you get tapped out and head back to the boat for the next group to swim. Now granted I am not in the greatest shape of my life but let me tell you, it is exhausting work keeping up with these jokers. We get to the second set and Mrs. Trumpet didn't want to swim with them so I was paired up with another couple and here is where it gets kinda funny.
Back in the 'briefing' ole Whale Shark Daddy said that if you encounter a whale shark head on, don't worry, they will go around you and don't panic. Let me tell you, ole Whale Shark Daddy LIED because yours truly came face to face with one of those suckers. Thankfully I rented my wet suit because after coming within 5 feet head on I may or may not have had a brief pee in my wet suit. Seriously, it took everything I had to get out of the way of this sucker! Sadly the photographer, Matteo, didn't get a still shot of my face to face encounter but it is on video. Still it is one of the best and coolest moments of my life.
After everyone is done you head to a beach area where everyone enjoys fresh shrimp ceviche and homemade guacamole and plug down a couple baby Corona's. Seriously, if you have the chance to do this, you need to swim with the Whale Sharks, it is worth every penny!  Now if you will excuse me I will go back to my being stuck up on seeing marine life and cool coral formations.

Here our Swimming Guide (can't recall his name) informs us that nobody has browned out a pair of swim trunks swimming with the Whale Sharks

We have no idea what we are in for

The surrounding boats as we arrive to the area
You can see me hanging on the ladder for dear life as I ask Mrs. Trumpet if she has us up to date on our Life Insurance policies.

No that isn't the Crosstown Bus, that is a Whale Shark

Great Shot of Mrs. Trumpet along the Express 44 into Midtown
I burned every ounce of energy in my legs to keep up with them and they were still way too fast

Just like Putty from Seinfeld - High Five Dude!

We lived to tell about it!
That is some serious lunch that was made 10 minutes prior!
Yeah, it was that cool!

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Post Boogie Down Re-Cap

So after the smoker cooled down on Sunday morning our trip to NYC wouldn't be complete without a trip to a Major League Baseball Game. Sadly the Yankees were in Boston so we ended up with making a trip to see the Mets (NYC's poor man's team) play the Phillies. After the game we ended up seeing where all the Mufflers in NYC are repaired and had some beers at the local watering hole inside the stadium. After a quick shower we were invited to Phil's firehouse in the Bronx for Sunday Dinner. Let me tell you right now, that all those stories of how good the firefighters eat in those firehouses is 100% true and many thanks to the boys of Engine 48 Ladder 56 for a killer Chicken Parm, it rocked!
Monday was departure day for the remaining 4 of us as we said goodbye to Val on Sunday as we dropped her off at LGA on our way to Citi Field. AJ and I 'volunteered' to take the direct flight from LGA to MEM and as we were seated in our exit row we were told that LaGuardia was closed due to an 'incident' by a SouthWest plane on the Tarmac. A couple more drinks in the Delta Departure lounge and the 4 junior pitmasters were welcomed to an empty Memphis Airport.
Again, thanks to all those who attended the Bronx Boogie Down BBQ Symposium and we are now taking reservations for next years Boogie. I assure you it will be bigger and better (and hopefully cooler) than this year.
The Bushes at the Lee house grow beer cans, who knew?

Bar 595 - Corrupting the youth of America, one bottle at a time!

It isn't Wrigley but it will do! 

Ahem RAB, he didn't remove his cap during the playing of "God Bless America" during the 7th inning stretch........

Good thing the beers in Citi Field were cold, and we had our coozies!

Bye Val-O-Rie!
The Poor Philly fans need to take a chapter out of the Cub's playbook

Oh we snickered at this vendor inside Citi Field

Why is Jess choked up you ask? Recall the trip to the Land without the sun when she got so tickled on that couch?
Yep, she spilled a beer. No that isn't pee between Justin's feet it is Jess' spilled beer.
Sorry Ladies, both of these boys are off the market. Guido too!

Thankfully we didn't have to give this woman medical attention like we did in Mexico. Well then again, I don't know how to wrap a liver.

I learned this from our trip to England, we don't call this a Fanny Pack but a Bum Bag. Anyway, he looses cool points for a poor showing.

As you exit Citi Field you can also get your Muffler fixed (or stolen and buy it back at the next home game)
Reminded me of Belize with the non-paved streets.

Prior to the "incident"

Had to have some Jerked Chicken as we were waiting to pick up some Cigars by Yankee Stadium

Cigars in hand, let's go to the Bronx where we are safe.

Thankfully the boys didn't have to make any 'runs' while we broke bread with the firemen

Guido and Phil (who may or may not have some BBQ dry rub stashed in his shorts)
Guido realized that he didn't have to make this face as No shots were harmed this weekend.

Notice the Blue Bags by Blue the Smoker - Yep that is 'some' of our recycle for Thursday

I bet that the Lee house sounds like a house in South Bluffs on Recycle Day
Soon there will be 2 wearing diapers in this house.

Waiting it out in the Delta Lounge 

No this isn't an ad for Weight Watchers.
Thankfully nobody was hurt in this landing 

Here is Bartlett Native SS calling her mother saying "Mommy, there are downtowners here and they scare me!"
Again, a great trip was had by all!