Saturday, January 22, 2011

CBT takes to the Track!

So with the 3 day weekend Momma and I decided to get out of town and hit up the Track since it was opening weekend. Given the temps were in the 30's we didn't take up our spot on the rail as hypothermia isn't all that cracked up to be. We opted for the Sports bar where we could have a place to sit, spread out all of our crap and of course drink beer soft drinks. Opening weekend or early in the 2011 racing season is much like trying to find a virgin at a Hedonism Resort as the jockeys are not used to horses, the cold weather makes it hard to handicap and quite honestly no one knows who/how/when horses are going to react. My normal favorites exacta boxing was producing some good results but it was that big beautiful gray 30-1 long shot that won in the 9th that made me a happy man.
Later that evening we got to watch the Jets/Patriots game and God love John P McNicholas, he cheered from Heaven and got them a win. That man loved 3 things, Horse Racing, the Jets and Kettle One so it was only natural that I had a couple in his honor.
Now a good friend of mine once told me that gambling on religious holidays or National Holidays is not a good thing as one normally does not win since God is mad at you. I guess that Doctor King was a little peeved at CBT because I couldn't pick my butt with both hands and a map! There was fog all the way to the deck, the track conditions were disintegrating each race and since we had to drive that beer wasn't hitting the spot. On a side note since you couldn't see past the bet board on the track there really wasn't any live commentating but Terry Wallace, Oaklawn's longtime announcer, did offer some funny comments.
"The Horses are nearing the starting gate....Trust me on this" - When they were loading in for the 6 1/2 fulong races
"And they are off!!!!! we will find out who is leading when they get around to the mile 1/16th pole."
"Calvin Borel must have his night time goggles on as he is in the lead!"

It was a good time other than that! Hope to make my money back next visit.


Yep that highlight on the left is a grey horse that I bet!


Grey Conditions as we popped out to get a glimps of the rail


Not a bad crowd on a Sunday


Yep that is water


Not saying the Arlington is old but that candy machine looks like it was circa Al Capone


Line for the Zenyatta Bobble head was pretty long on Monday


That was the only time that track was Fast (TWSS) Next race it went to good, then fair


Is this England?


Never seen anything like it before


When they started at the mile 1/16 start


Thank God for the Carousel Lounge


My Zenyatta Bobble head!


TTK!

Friday, January 7, 2011

A Couple of Things Said, Heard or Texted During The Sugar Bowl

So CBT made a trip to the Big Easy for the Allstate Sugar Bowl and as expected a wild time was had by all. Don’t worry I will get some pictures up on here but I have to share with my 3 readers some of the hilarious comments that were said, heard or texted during the 3 fun filled days.
Oh and don’t worry I will protect the drunks innocent and not divulge names but you know who you are!

1. “I need a Bloody Mary and Imodium”

2. “Robo I haven’t been this drunk since 1994 Catfish Row!”

3. “Well at least for the 4th quarter we can have a drink in the French Quarter.”

4. “You Arkansas Fans are so inbred; you put your head up the ass of a plastic Hog Hat.”
“Dude, it is 75 degrees outside - you are wearing a sweater vest and have a necklace of nuts
around your neck."

5. “So you are suffering from the ole Restaurant equipment syndrome eh?”
“What is that?”
“That is where your butt resembles a soft serve machine.”
“Yep you are correct.”

6. “That could have been the best thing I have put in my mouth in a long time…..Yep even that too!”

7. “Where are you?”
“I really can’t divulge that information at this time due to National Security.”
“You are at Ricks aren’t you?”
“No Comment”

8. “Hey I know that Tu-Tu!”
“No you do not!”
“Hey (NAME DELETED)”

9. “Can I get a Bud Light and a Coors Light?”
“That is fine guys but just to let you know we gave last call 2 minutes ago.”
“Better make it 3 Bud Lights and 3 Coors Light then.”

10. “Just in case I get drunk, my room number is 1228 should I forget and then call you.”

11. “After this weekend I am going to boil my shoes in bleach!”

12. “How are you doing, my name is XXX or you can call me by my alias Hot Ass Mess.”

TTK and Try the Veal!